Kelly Haworth

LGBT Scifi and Fantasy Author

Hesitation

| 0 comments

The move is over. Brian is healed. Nate’s starting to sleep through the night. My workload has smoothed out at the office.

So why am I not diving head first into my next novel?

Well, on the surface I’ll tell you because I have a larger place to keep clean and a son to chase around, and when I have time to write in the evenings, I’ll tell you I’m researching for my romance novel, or doing some social networking on twitter. These things are (mostly) true. But if you dig a little deeper, you may see I’m nervous.

Yeah, I said it. It’s been a long time, almost two years to be exact, since I started a new novel. I’m anxious to start that romance both with excitement and dread. What if it’s not good? What if I don’t do my characters justice? What if I’m wasting my time?

These, as far as I can tell, are pretty typical fears. But I thought after writing for as long as I have that I’d… you know… grow out of them. I guess not. Especially not with the hiatus I’ve had.

I know I just gotta dive in. Pants it just like I always do. I just thought this time I could try to plan things out a bit more, so I don’t have such a rough first draft. But for some authors, rough first drafts are a way of life. As I’ve been told, I have permission to have a shitty first draft.

I’m just gonna say that again for emphasis. We all have permission to have shitty first drafts.

Okay. I feel a bit better now.

Honestly, I think the thing that has me the most nervous about this novel is that I don’t know where to start. It’s something that I have trouble with, wanting to have long slow starts where we follow the character around their unfamiliar world getting to know their normal every day before they’re thrown into the craziness of plot. But… books aren’t written like that anymore. In fact, I don’t know if I would even like reading a book like that right now. So why do I want to write one? Because I pants the writing process and don’t know half of what I should about the character’s world and want to find it out as I write.

So isn’t the simple solution to write a few chapters and then decide later that I’m going to start on chapter three?

If it were only that easy. However, it may be worth a shot.

So how about you guys? How do you psych yourself into starting a new novel? I can’t be alone in this problem, right?

Right?

*crickets*

Oh Jeez. I’m going back to twitter.

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.